my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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