Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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