No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
