A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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