i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
