Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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