No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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