y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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