Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
