The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
