today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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