Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
