If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
