There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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