I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
