these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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