THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
