ya dads aren't the best wingmen
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
