when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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