dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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