Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
how does that bad decision feel?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
