Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
