i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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