She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize