Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
