My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
and you fell through a lawn chair
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
