I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
