All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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