Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
