You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
