Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So i had sex for a couple seconds last night

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  (419): So i had sex for a couple seconds last night http://tfl.nu/eni0
  Replies (20) Good night (471) Bad night (2225) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more

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  (856): I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more http://tfl.nu/kc45
  Replies (2) Good night (532) Bad night (1747) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"

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  (201): my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that" http://tfl.nu/nqkj
  Replies (14) Good night (795) Bad night (4745) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
  Replies (68) Good night (27475) Bad night (3097) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!

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  (205): you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!! http://tfl.nu/1wys
  Replies (9) Good night (6085) Bad night (898)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

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  (770): it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there http://tfl.nu/89or
  Replies (36) Good night (933) Bad night (7060) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

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  (502): Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels? http://tfl.nu/vpae
  Replies (12) Good night (1086) Bad night (3785) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.

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  (303): She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga. http://tfl.nu/aid2
  Replies (6) Good night (2545) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't text me with that hand

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  (410): SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR (610): Don't text me with that hand http://tfl.nu/c1bj
  Replies (16) Good night (3316) Bad night (559)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.

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  (205): Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it. http://tfl.nu/qoct
  Replies (15) Good night (2211) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.

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  (505): I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle. http://tfl.nu/qs61
  Replies (6) Good night (1306) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (+69): View more from

  You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.

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  (+69): You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow. http://tfl.nu/jkt0
  Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (1871) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.

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  (807): It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time. http://tfl.nu/tzie
  Replies (5) Good night (1999) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.

  (415): View more from California

  I still don't know how you've lived this long.

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  (925): I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time. (415): I still don't know how you've lived this long. http://tfl.nu/6ttn
  Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (313)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

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  (775): When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home http://tfl.nu/5cvq
  Replies (5) Good night (427) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt

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