Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I want to kish your cheek

(248): View more from Michigan

My cheeks are in Michigan

(301): View more from Maryland

Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

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(301): I want to kish your cheek (248): My cheeks are in Michigan (301): Oh my lips are kind of stretchy http://tfl.nu/4fba

Replies (4) Good night (1943) Bad night (679)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

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(732): so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking http://tfl.nu/oxvr

Replies (5) Good night (777) Bad night (1875)
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(303): View more from Colorado

If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

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(303): If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed. http://tfl.nu/n5xo

Replies (9) Good night (3268) Bad night (763)
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(940): View more from Texas

She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.

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(940): She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one. http://tfl.nu/4xsk

Replies (35) Good night (15576) Bad night (868)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.

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(781): I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. http://tfl.nu/mkrc

Replies (98) Good night (1233) Bad night (22253)
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(707): View more from California

I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n

(559): View more from California

sry, psychiatrist trumps professor

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(707): I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n (559): sry, psychiatrist trumps professor http://tfl.nu/qnkf

Replies (43) Good night (6636) Bad night (1029)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.

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(778): working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out. http://tfl.nu/5n9v

Replies (37) Good night (897) Bad night (6341)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.

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(608): your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places. http://tfl.nu/fel2

Replies (81) Good night (6828) Bad night (1259)
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(260): View more from Indiana

did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?

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(260): did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis? http://tfl.nu/t53m

Replies (9) Good night (899) Bad night (1988)
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(425): View more from Washington

I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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(425): I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it. http://tfl.nu/dgh5

Replies (13) Good night (1029) Bad night (3232)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

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(615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059

Replies (8) Good night (1328) Bad night (648)
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(714): View more from California

I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.

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(714): I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time. http://tfl.nu/xqih

Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (1460)
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(816): View more from Missouri

We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.

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(816): We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have. http://tfl.nu/xov4

Replies (9) Good night (1831) Bad night (458)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...

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(859): you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection. (1-859): ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave... http://tfl.nu/0oli

Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (523)
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(972): View more from Texas

I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.

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(972): I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left. http://tfl.nu/3wwg

Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (494)

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