u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.