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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

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• (210): View more from Texas

  cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (530): View more from California

  You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.

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• (949): View more from California

  You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?

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• (631): View more from New York

  He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3

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