Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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