I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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