it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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