it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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