I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
