I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
only if we run a train.
done.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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