I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
