My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
In America we eat man semen.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
