Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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