Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
