I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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