Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
