dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
