Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
