I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
