I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
