If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
