Whod you bang
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
