Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
