youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
