I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
