I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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