It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
