I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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