she woke up with a sticky ear
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
