she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
