She said her name was "party"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
