Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
